By Deb Boelkes
It’s amazing what kind of silly little things can bring long unthought-of memories to the forefront of your mind.
Just this week, as I was changing the sheets on our guestroom bed, I happened to notice the little stack of books that I leave on the nightstand—to keep our guests amused—was a little off kilter.
As I straightened up the stack, something caused me to flip through the pages of the smallest book, George Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation, which the father of our country wrote at the tender age of 14. Young George’s rules “were intended to polish manners, keep alive the best affections of the heart, impress the obligation of moral virtues, teach how to treat others in social relations, and above all, inculcate the practice of a perfect self-control.”
Can you imagine a 14-year-old today writing a list of Civility Rules? Perhaps if we taught our children to appreciate the virtues of civility these days, the world might be a better place.
But alas, we find ourselves living in a time when mayors allow burning and looting, murderous collusion goes on between governments and industry, prosecutors ignore known crimes, elected officials ignore the Constitution, government agencies ignore Congressional oversight, Inspectors General fail to report bad deeds, no one has standing in voter fraud cases, and the list goes on. For someone like me, who grew up in a home where the simple act of failing to be polite to elders met with swift justice, today’s rampant incivility is mind blowing.
As I flipped through the pages of the little red book of rules, a couple of rules really grabbed my attention, like the 56th rule: Associate yourself with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.
Yes, it’s interesting how some can be more inclined to partake in incivility when everyone else is doing it—and moreover, getting away with it.
Another attention grabber was the 110th rule: Labour to keep alive in your breast that little celestial fire called conscience.
Conscience. We don’t seem to use that word much these days.
Doublechecking what just might have been my own lack of awareness, I flipped through both of the two leadership books that Dr. Mark Goulston and I collaborated on, The WOW Factor Workplace: How to Create a Best Place to Work Culture and Heartfelt Leadership: How to Capture the Top Spot and Keep on Soaring. My search through both indexes confirmed that nowhere in either book did we discuss conscience. We talked about consciousness, caring, integrity, honor, honesty, etc. But we never discussed conscience.
Likewise, a search across this very website for the word conscience proved that it’s never been used here in the decade of this website’s existance. These discoveries stunned me.
I know I learned about conscience early in my childhood, thanks to Walt Disney and his animated musical fantasy film, Pinocchio. I remember the first time I saw that movie—as though it was yesterday—although I couldn’t have been more than four years old at the time.
If you’re not familiar with the story, it’s about a lonely old man named Geppetto, who wished he had a son. So, he created a wooden puppet and named it Pinocchio. Geppetto then wished upon a star that his puppet would turn into a real boy. The Blue Fairy partially granted his wish by bringing the puppet to life, but for Pinocchio to become a real boy, he would have to prove he was morally worthy.
Throughout the story, Pinocchio faced many temptations to test his morals. He learned about dishonesty when every time he told a lie his nose grew longer. Pinocchio also learned the values of hard work, bravery, and selflessness, although the main lesson of his adventures was the value of honesty— one of the greatest morals one can possess.
What I learned as a preschooler from watching this movie was this: “Always let your conscience be your guide,” thanks to a happy little song sung to Pinocchio by Jiminy Cricket, Give a Little Whistle. It goes like this:
When you get in trouble
And you don't know right from wrong,
Give a little whistle, give a little whistle.
When you meet temptation
And the urge is very strong,
Give a little whistle, give a little whistle.
Not just a little squeak, pucker up and blow
And if you're whistle is weak, yell Jiminy Cricket!
Take the straight and narrow path
And if you start to slide
Give a little whistle (yoo-hoo!), give a little whistle (yoo-hoo!)
And always let your conscience be your guide.
And always let your conscience be your guide.
When the movie ended, I still remember asking my parents, “What does that mean?”
It was then that I learned my conscience was my innate sense of right and wrong. It was that feeling of shame I would feel when I knowingly behaved badly. Yes, even as a four-year-old, I understood what that meant. And that early childhood lesson—always let your conscience be your guide—has served me well throughout life.
In business, our conscience informs our values and principals—what we stand for and where we draw the line. Our conscience serves as the standard by which we judge whether certain actions are ethical or not.
So, why is it that we don’t tend to use the word conscience anymore, as George Washington did 250 years ago? Mahatma Gandhi still used it 100 years ago, when he stated:
- “There is a higher court than courts of justice, and that is the court of conscience. It supersedes all other courts” and
- “In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place” and
- “A leader is useless when he acts against the prompting of his own conscience.”
If conscience no longer has a place in our society, I propose it is time we bring it back. It shouldn’t be that hard to do. Even young children can understand right from wrong, so adults have no excuse.
Our pervasive tolerance of bad behavior must end.
As Heartfelt Leaders, I hereby ask you to join me in bringing conscience back into vogue. Of course, the best place to begin is with yourself. Starting right now, may you:
- Strive to be a role model of ethical behavior
- Strive to keep alive in you that little fire called conscience
- And always let your conscience be your guide.