By Deb Boelkes
Since you are reading this post, it’s likely that you either consider yourself to be a heartfelt leader or you are striving to become one. Either way, this is a great place to gain more insights and inspiration on being the best heartfelt leader you can be.
When you think about the heartfelt leaders you have known in your life, what words come to mind when describing them? What characteristics did those leaders who most inspired you exemplify?
Now, consider the characteristics that you would like to be known for as a heartfelt leader? Are you there yet?
For as long as I can remember, I was encouraged by my elders and upline managers to start with the end in mind—whether planning my career or defining the desired outcome of whatever goal I was striving to achieve at the time. It’s vital to envision what success looks like to chart the best course to get there.
In terms of planning your best life, start by asking yourself how you would like to be remembered. What would you like people to say about you at your memorial service? Whatever your answer is, start behaving that way now—if you don’t exemplify these traits already—because you never know when today might be the last chance that you’ll ever have to model the characteristics that you wish to be remembered for.
If you have read any of my posts in the past year, you know that I revere the legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden for his wisdom and role model leadership style. He once answered the question How would you like to be remembered? this way: “As a person who was considerate of others.”
Wooden’s philosophy was that being considerate of others was not a burden or an obligation. Instead, being considerate simply made him happy. “The happiest moments in life come from making someone else happy.”
He also advised, “Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights.” Perhaps the world would be a better place if everyone practiced such standards.
In his book co-authored with Steve Jamison, The Wisdom of John Wooden: My Century On and Off the Court, Wooden said “Whether it is about rights or feelings, the key thing is to consider the other person.”
In practice, Wooden would remind his players to treat the fans they encountered on the road with the same consideration they gave to their fans at home. “Keep courtesy and consideration of others foremost in your mind, at home and away,” he’d say.
As for myself, I would like to be remembered as someone who achieved Infinite-Win outcomes. My philosophy is that by helping others win, we can all win. I highlighted one example of how I go about creating Infinite-Win outcomes in my November 2021 blog post.
My modus operandi in helping others succeed is to enable them to do what they love. In fact, in dedicating my first book, The WOW Factor Workplace: How to Create a Best Place to Work Culture, to my grand-daughters, I said this: May you always love what you do.
Then, in the opening chapter I laid out the premise: Leaders in a WOW factor workplace are invariably praised as being best-ever bosses who inspire those around them to be the best they can be. I want to be remembered for enabling leaders everywhere to be that kind of leader. That would be an Infinite-Win.
One of Coach Wooden’s favorite authors was Wilfred Peterson, who in his book The Art of Living said, “Through empathy, a person learns not to judge others in terms of his own personal interests, likes, and dislikes, but in terms of what life means to them.”
The happiest moments in my life come from enabling people to do what they love and naturally do well. I’ve found that when a colleague or loved one is struggling or dissatisfied, it’s usually because they aren’t doing whatever it is they would prefer to be doing. So, side-by-side—as an empathetic and caring ally who has their best interests at heart—I ask them to describe what their best life might look like, so together we can create a path for them to get there.
One of the heartfelt leaders highlighted in The WOW Factor Workplace was Todd Wilcox, founder and CEO of Patriot Defense Group. Todd shared this about helping his team members succeed:
There’s no room here for mediocrity. When we start to see those indicators, that’s when we begin to focus in on the individual. It’s usually two levels of management who are focusing in on the issue. It’s daily and weekly counseling until we get him [or her] back on course. We are very candid about it.
You have a responsibility to the organization. You have a responsibility to your clients, especially in the business world. You don’t have to be an a** to hold people accountable.
I wouldn’t associate heartfelt leadership with being soft. I think it’s just more emotionally attached, more empathetic to the people around you.
Heartfelt leaders show empathy, vulnerability and support; they care about the people, not just the money; they take an interest in you beyond the role you have; they want to help you grow; they lead by example and set you up for success; And just as they leave your life better than they found it, they inspire you to pay-it-forward so you can leave the world better than you found it, too.
That’s what I call an Infinite-Win…and that’s how I want to be remembered.
How about you? How would you like to be remembered?
Are you there yet?
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Postscript:
As you journey through life, take time to consider the company you keep and the potential consequences of your decisions and actions. Even when starting with the end in mind, along the way others can impact even your best laid plans. Stay true to yourself and your values.
As one of my favorite CEOs once told me, “With every decision you make, consider how your mother would react if she learned about it from the national news. If what you’re about to do won’t make your mother proud, then think again. It’s probably not how you’ll want to be remembered.”