By Deb Boelkes
Does your snail mail take more exotic vacations than you do these days? This question may sound absurd, but some of my mail apparently enjoys going to Puerto Rico along the way. I suppose the route my mail takes before it reaches its targeted destination shouldn’t matter, but when the contents are expected and needed by a certain date, these lengthy (and sometimes unending) sojourns can be a bit frustrating. I’ll give a few examples.
First, there are those vendor invoices that fail to arrive.
Granted, I could put my routine bills on autopay, but I prefer to review all charges for services rendered before issuing payments. So, I still request all utility, insurance, and credit card vendors to mail me paper invoices. If their invoice meets my expectations, I pay in full immediately via Wells Fargo’s online banking system. 99.5% of the time, the process works just fine.
But occasionally an invoice fails to arrive, so nothing triggers me to remit payment until the next month’s statement arrives, reflecting my account is now in arrears. At that point I’ll call the vendor to explain. Since I always pay in-full, they remove any late fees and I then pay the total amount due via Wells Fargo’s online banking system. On average, this catch-up process happens once or twice a year.
Then there are some mailed payments that are never received by the vendor.
For example, in the first week of January, my husband mailed a check to the National Rifle Association to renew his annual membership. As of this writing—four months later—that check has never been received by the NRA.
And there are those online orders that don’t arrive when expected.
For example, on January 31 my husband placed an online order, direct with Garmin, for a new Vivofit device. Garmin immediately issued an order confirmation along with a USPS shipment tracking number. The estimated delivery date was February 4.
The USPS online tracking system allowed us to follow Viviofit’s travels: it departed Olathe, Kansas the day it was ordered. On the afternoon of February 3, it arrived at a USPS Regional Facility in Orlando, FL. That evening it arrived at the USPS Distribution Center in Jacksonville, FL—about a 1-hour drive to our home. At 1:39 AM on February 4, Garmin issued my husband a confirmation notice that the Vivofit would be delivered “by tomorrow.”
But it failed to arrive as expected. Instead, it went radio silent until the morning of February 11, when the USPS online tracking report showed the Vivofit was then at the USPS Regional Distribution Center in Catano, Puerto Rico…of all places. Later that evening it showed up at the USPS facility in Carolina, Puerto Rico.
The wayward device then went radio silent once again until the afternoon of February 14, when it reappeared at the Jacksonville, FL Distribution Center. Two days later it finally showed up in our mailbox. At least we didn’t have to pay for international shipping.
Of course, let’s not forget the charitable donations that go AWOL.
For example, in February our favorite classical charter school announced its annual fundraising golf tournament. Unable to attend the event but wanting to support the school, I mailed them a donation on February 22. As of this writing, almost three months later, my check has still not been received. Could it possibly be relaxing on a beach somewhere in Puerto Rico?
Speaking of errant online orders:
I ordered contact lenses from Costco online on April 18. On the morning of April 23, Costco sent me an online confirmation notice indicating my order had shipped from Burlington, WI via the US Postal Service. The estimated delivery date was April 26.
When the package didn’t arrive as scheduled, I checked the USPS tracking report. Just like the Garmin had done, my contact lenses went radio silent after their last sighting on April 23 at the Oak Creek, WI USPS Distribution Center.
On Saturday, April 27, the USPS tracking report re-awakened to show my package was “In Transit to Next Facility, Arriving Late,” although there was no indication as to where in the world that “next facility” might be. I checked the USPS tracking report every day for the next week to see if my wayward package had made an appearance somewhere….to no avail. It seemed stuck in the cone of silence.
The following Saturday morning I visited our local Postmaster to ask where, oh where could my package be? After disappearing into the warehouse for the next 30-minutes, the Postmaster returned with a new report that showed my contact lenses were now on an all-expenses-paid vacation in Carolina, Puerto, Rico! Having set off some kind of alarm, they finally arrived in my mailbox the following Monday.
Now let’s talk about “mis-addressed” envelopes.
When the husband of a dear friend of mine suddenly took a turn for the worse in early April, she let it be known that they didn’t want to be disturbed by visitors or phone calls, but she welcomed cards and letters. So, on April 15, I mailed her a hand-written note card offering prayers and encouragement.
Sadly, two weeks later I learned through the grapevine that the husband had passed away. Since he wanted no memorial service, I dropped a sympathy card in the mail to my friend and awaited further instruction.
On May 3, the first note card of encouragement arrived back in my own mailbox. It now sported a USPS machine-bar-coded label marked “UNDELIVERABLE—Address Unknown.” Figuring I must have mistakenly transposed the street number or something, I compared the address I had written on the envelope to my Outlook contacts—a 100% match.
So, I went to USPS.com to investigate. According to them, the address format was incorrect. I had written the address as:
Mrs. Annie Friend
1234 Nice Street
#222
MyTown, FL 32323
USPS.com stipulated the format had to be entered as follows:
Mrs. Annie Friend
1234 Nice Street, Unit 222
MyTown, FL 32323
Mind you, I’ve sent Annie several birthday, Christmas, and other occasional cards over the years. I’ve always entered “#222” below the street address. I’d never used the word “unit” before. As far as I know, all previous correspondence was received.
Somewhat irritated, I took the “undeliverable” card to my local post office—the same one that delivers her mail—to ask why this envelope was undeliverable. The clerk seemed incredulous. Shaking his head he said, “This should have been delivered. I’ll fix it.” With that, he blacked out the USPS label and dropped my envelope into the cart of outbound mail behind him. As of this writing, I don’t know whether either of my two cards ever reached my now-widowed friend.
In closing, do you remember the creed, neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds? Well, those days are gone.
It seems my experiences with mismanaged mail delivery aren’t unique—at least not according to the recent NBC News article titled, Major mail delivery delays raise concerns about voting in the 2024 elections.
My advice to you is this: If time is of the essence, do NOT rely on the US Postal Service. And if you’re planning to vote by mail this year, think again. If you want your vote to count, vote in-person.