Courage to Do What’s Right

By Deb Boelkes

Sometimes doing what you know in your heart to be right can be the hardest thing of all to do—especially when your peers or your friends, a parent, or someone you admire is steadfastly headed down a path that you believe is wrong. While on the surface it may seem easier to just go along to get along, there are times when you know—by instinct, or intuition, or that moral compass of yours— that going along is just not the right thing to do, at least not for you.

Hence, the struggle. Where do your allegiances really lie? Where should they lie? 

It takes courage to swim against the tide. Having the confidence and courage to take a risk and make a public stand for what your heart tells you is right, when you or someone else has been wronged, can have a big impact on where you end up in life. It might make a difference to others in your life, too. Trying situations, when you battle with your conscience, are chances to make a difference in your world.

In August we began a series of posts on Moral Character and Virtuous Leadership. That inaugural post, Who’s Responsible for Developing Virtuous Leaders? highlighted the admirable mission of a classical public charter school called the Cornerstone Classical Academy: to become a wellspring of future leaders….where every student will build a solid foundation of knowledge, discipline, virtue, and character. 

One of the key virtues this K-8 academy seeks to cultivate within the hearts of their students is courage, which they define this way:       

We always do what we know to be right despite fear, hardship, and opposition. We resist negative peer pressure, defend our rights and the rights of others, and encourage others to do the same.   

Now ask yourself these questions:

• Do you embody this definition of courage? 
• Do you always do what you know to be right despite fear, hardship, and opposition?
• Do you unswervingly resist negative peer pressure to defend your rights and the rights of others, and encourage others to do the same?
• Can you think of a recent example of when you did so, either at work or within your community?

It’s not unusual for people—even those perceived as having strong personalities—to simply coalesce when bullying authorities issue mandates and threaten livelihoods. In my upcoming book, Strong Suit: Leadership Success Secrets from Women on Top, I share a story you might relate to:

An executive friend of mine accepted a senior leadership position with a well-known financial services firm in New York City. Shortly after joining the firm, she ran into one of the senior partners in the hallway. She immediately flashed her big, friendly, trademark smile at him; yet the partner’s face remained stone cold as he confronted her with, “You're never going to be a success here if you continue to smile so much. You need to stop smiling.”

She was a bit taken aback but assumed he was just joking. She laughed and lightheartedly responded, “Robert, you’re so funny. How are you doing today?”

With steely eyes, he replied, “I’m serious. You need to change your demeanor or you’re not going to make it here.”

Stunned, she felt she had no alternative but to heed the partner’s dictate and modify her demeanor.  She stuck it out by putting on a false façade for several months until she finally became so unhappy with herself—and with everyone else—that she finally left the firm.

If you’ve read any of my other recent posts or books, you know I am a huge fan of the legendary UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden. In his book, They Call Me Coach, Wooden used a thought-provoking quote, sometimes attributed to the former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, to introduce chapter 17: “Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.”   

What a shame my executive friend (in the story shared above) didn’t have the courage to stand up for herself the first time she encountered that senior partner. Too bad she didn’t do what she knew in her heart was right for her, despite her fear, the hardship, the opposition, and the negative peer pressure. Too bad she didn’t choose to stand true to her brand or leave while she still had her trademark joyful attitude and dignity intact. It was a tough lesson for her to learn.

As I shared in my last book, Women on Top: What’s Keeping You From Executive Leadership?

Fear is a natural reaction, but courage is a choice. True leaders choose to be brave even though they may be scared. When given the opportunity to take on a challenge beyond your comfort zone, do it—you just might impress the heck out of yourself, and you will serve as a role model to anyone who doubted you. Being brave allows you to live without regrets…. Never be afraid to do what is right.

Whether you are in the C-suite or have an ambition to get there, or perhaps you are mentoring someone who’s trying to figure it all out, I hope you will choose to be a virtuous role model of courage.  Even if doing the right thing is the harder thing to do, strive to do what you know to be right despite the fear, the hardship, and the opposition. Resist negative peer pressure. Defend your rights and the rights of others—and encourage them to do the same.  

Knowing when to walk away and when to take the risk to push back could make all the difference in where you end up in life. You never know when having the courage to swim against the tide could make a big difference to others in your life, as well.

Best wishes, and may you have the courage to do what’s right in the year ahead and always.