Big Bad Bullies - Part I

Most of us have to deal with bullies at some points in our lives and careers. More often than not, the bullies we face tend to be male, but females can be bullies, too. Bullies range in age from toddlers to retirees, and every age in between.

Some of us try to give beastly people the benefit of the doubt, assuming they are just having a bad day or are in a uniquely bad situation. Then there are some people who simply seem to get their kicks from being a bully.

Even at my age, as practiced as I am and with all the insightful coaching I get from Dr. Mark on the subject, it can sometimes still be a challenge for me when I’m confronted by a bully. Yes, it still happens, but over the years I’ve gotten a lot better at dealing with most of them fairly effectively. Guess you could say “Practice Makes Perfect”, but I must admit, I’m far from perfect at dealing with some bullies. Sometimes I still get surprised. Maybe it’s because bullies don’t come in “One Size Fits All” packages and some tactics don’t work in every case. 

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bio

Dr. Mark Goulston is Founder and Co-CEO of the Goulston Group.

Founders, CEO's, Executives, Chairmen and Boards of Directors hire the Goulston Group and Dr. Goulston to help them create a "gotta have it!"​ response from customers and clients to their products and services, a "gotta work there!"​ response from talent they are seeking to recruit, a "gotta invest there!"​ response from investors and a "gonna get it done!"​ response from employees.

Widely regarded as a "people hacker,"​ Dr. Goulston began his career as an interventional psychiatrist focusing on suicide and violence prevention and UCLA professor of psychiatry. He then extended his work to training FBI and police hostage negotiators and then to the corporate and NGOs. His entire career's approach has been to get through to people by getting where they're truly coming from, having them experience that along with the deep trust that Dr. Goulston will never hurt them or take advantage of them.  And he never has and never will.

His "people hacking"​ has now extended to, "hacking genius,"​ and he has been speaking, writing and providing webinars on "Thinking Like Steve Jobs - Discover His 4 Step Formula for Creating 'Gotta Have It!'​"​

Dr. Goulston is the author of seven books with his book, "Just Listen"​ Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, becoming the top book on listening in the world and his first book, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, first published in 1996 being in the top 5 self-help books at Amazon for the last five years.  His next book due out October 21 is "Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life."

He writes for Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Huffington Post, Fast Company and Psychology Today and appears widely in the media including CNN, Wall St. Journal, NY Times, Fortune and Forbes.

What's Possible and Why It Matters

What's possible...

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My Anniversary Reaction to Warren Bennis' Death

"Warren, you liked me! You really liked me!" - with appreciation to Sally Field

My last mentor, Warren Bennis, died a year ago on July 31, 2014.  As a psychiatrist I have known about and observed what is referred to as anniversary reactions in friends and patients, but I have never experienced one of my own.  That is until today.

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Bruce Jenner, You are not alone

There is no shortage of people like Bruce Jenner whose thoughts, feelings and actions defy analysis even as they crave understanding.

If I'm like you and you're like me, we both watched Diane Sawyer's interview of Bruce Jenner and you too may have been transfixed by it being poignant, touching and not unfamiliar.

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Hurting vs. Healing the World, One Conversation at a Time

The measure of a civilization is how it treats those who have hurt it and who are hurting in it... wouldn't you agree? (adpated from Winston Churchill)

Man's inhumanity to his fellow man

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Man's power to heal his fellow man

What would happen to the world if every day every person spoke with another person as Naomi Feil did with Gladys Wilson?

Calling All Boards of Directors! The Men Who Should Be King

Inspired by Michal Lev-Ram's Fortune cover story, "Disney CEO Bob Iger's Empire of Tech" (you should read it)

One of your most important responsibilities to the companies whose boards you serve on is to make sure it has the best CEO.

If you agree, I think you need look no further than Tim Cook at Apple and Bob Iger at Disney.

Why?

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After Christmas Tale - After Joy to the World, Remember...

This has been a year that can use all the Joy we can feel.  But when Xmas and Joy to the World pass on December 26, we should remember that "what the world needs now is love sweet love."

Love at its best overflows with tenderness. Tenderness is what comforts and heals pain and suffering from the inside out.  Pain is pain, suffering is being alone in pain.  When you take away people's aloneness, suffering they can't tolerate becomes pain that they can. The problem and challenge is that tenderness can't be rushed and in our go-go, get more, sooner world it is actually in danger of becoming extinct.

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