What the Military Knows about Heartfelt Leadership

by Deb Boelkes

If you or your immediate loved ones have not served in the military, you may assume that all military officers rely on command-and-control style leadership to gain compliance from the ranks. In fact, when it comes to the US Marine Corps, many of us tend to conjure up visions of drill sergeants shouting commands and derogatory statements about an infantry person’s appearance or behavior, while standing just inches from a young grunt’s face. This is hardly the picture most of us envision when it comes to imagining Heartfelt Leadership.  With a son, a father, two grandfathers, and generations of great grandfathers before them who served this nation in every major war since 1776, I was very eager to interview military officers as well as corporate leaders when it came time to research and write the two books that Dr. Mark Goulston and I collaborated on, The WOW Factor Workplace: How to Create a Best Place to Work Culture and Heartfelt Leadership: How to Capture the Top Spot and Keep on Soaring. 

In each of these two books, I share highlights of my interviews with two former US Army officers: Todd Wilcox, Chairman of Patriot Defense Group and former Green Beret who commanded a Special Forces A-team in a counterterrorism role in East Asia; and Colonel Debra M. Lewis (US Army, Retired), who had a remarkable 34-year military career which began with her attending the Military Academy at West Point, in the first class to include women. Not only were both of these former military officers highly respected by those in their command, both were also—and still are—beloved by those who served with them.

In The WOW Factor Workplace, I asked Todd Wilcox, “What do you say to those CEOs who claim, ‘It’s not my job to inspire them. It’s up to them to get excited about the job’?” 

To that question, Todd replied:

I’d say they’ve failed, or they will fail if they don’t change their mindset. Leadership is ALL about inspiration. You must inspire people to get things done.

In Heartfelt Leadership, Colonel Deb Lewis had this to say on the subject:

Being a heartfelt leader is absolutely part and parcel of being in the military. I would say it’s essential everywhere else, too, where people gather and work together.

Some people will say it doesn’t have a place, or it’s something we don’t have the luxury of time to do. You may be able to achieve things in the short-term by not being a heartfelt leader, by enforcing the rules and doing only what you are told … but for enduring success, there is no way you’re going to attract and keep people in your organization and inspire them to do more than what you can explain to them. It’s helping them see and access all their talents and bring that to any new situation they face.

Recently, I read the book, Call Sign Chaos: Learning to Lead, (Random House, 2019) by US Marine Corps General Jim Mattis, the former Secretary of Defense; and Bing West, a former assistant secretary of defense and combat Marine. This book is the account of Jim Mattis’ storied military career.

In it, General Mattis tells how his early years in the Marines taught him “leadership fundamentals, summed up in the three Cs.”   To paraphrase:

The first C is Competence. Essentially, you must master your job brilliantly at every level you advance to and help those below and around you do the same. Know your weaknesses and strengths, and continuously strive to improve—and help those below and around you do the same. Know that you will never be perfect. Just do your best and move on. And learn from others’ mistakes.

The second C is Caring. Here, Mattis quotes Teddy Roosevelt, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Above all, value initiative and aggressiveness. In terms of authority, remember you are their coach and commander, not their friend—but you should come as close to that line as possible without crossing it. You must get to know your people as individuals. Know what makes them tick. Know what their specific goals are. Be invested in their personal dreams and development.

The third C is Conviction. According to Mattis, “This is harder and deeper than physical courage.” Your team must know what you stand for, and more important, what you do NOT stand for. You must be consistent and stick to your own rules. Your people must know you will stand up for them no matter the outcome, provided they are doing their best to achieve your defined intent of the mission.  Mattis continued, “Remember: As an officer, you need to win only one battle—for the hearts of your troops. Win their hearts and they will win the fights.”  

If anything describes the essence of Heartfelt Leadership and defines how to create a best place to work culture, the words of these three military officers certainly do.  They get it.

Here’s hoping you do to.

For more insight from these three military leaders, read the three books mentioned here. Each is well worth your time.

In the meanwhile, if you have any questions or personal insights you would like to share with our Heartfelt Leadership readers, please don’t hesitate to contact me. 

I would love to hear from you.