What’s Profoundly Important to You?

By Deb Boelkes

As a business or community leader, you no doubt live a busy life and must constantly juggle multiple priorities.  With numerous opportunities and people vying for your time and attention, you routinely search for ways to optimize your effectiveness quotient.

In the final chapter of my book, Strong Suit: Leadership Success Stories from Women on Top, I asked each of the executives featured to answer this question: “Have you been successful in the way you expected?” Not surprisingly, their answers were all over the map. The one commonality was that few of them saw themselves as others perceive them. 

The first time I was personally asked such a question, I was stunned at my own answer, yet what I said was truthful and heartfelt. Essentially, I said something to the effect that since my original career goal was to become the CEO of my own company, I’ve been successful. But achieving that success has felt different than I expected. Along the way, I had to play the cards that I was dealt. It’s been a humbling experience.

Click to read more ...

Do You Trust the US Postal Service Anymore?

By Deb Boelkes

Does your snail mail take more exotic vacations than you do these days? This question may sound absurd, but some of my mail apparently enjoys going to Puerto Rico along the way. I suppose the route my mail takes before it reaches its targeted destination shouldn’t matter, but when the contents are expected and needed by a certain date, these lengthy (and sometimes unending) sojourns can be a bit frustrating. I’ll give a few examples.

First, there are those vendor invoices that fail to arrive.  

Granted, I could put my routine bills on autopay, but I prefer to review all charges for services rendered before issuing payments. So, I still request all utility, insurance, and credit card vendors to mail me paper invoices. If their invoice meets my expectations, I pay in full immediately via Wells Fargo’s online banking system. 99.5% of the time, the process works just fine.

But...

Click to read more ...

How Happy Are You with Your Workplace?

By Deb Boelkes

I’m routinely asked to speak about a variety of leadership issues with management groups around the country. Two of the most requested topics lately are: How to Create a Best Place to Work Culture, and How to Lead in Times of Chaos. 

I was recently asked to also provide an Industry and Market Trends overview as the lead-in to a talk addressing both afore-mentioned topics. Knowing this audience would be varied, both in terms of industry representation and management level, I focused the overview portion on Macrotrends—from geopolitical tensions and trade conflicts to supply chain infrastructures, emerging technologies, and shifts in business culture. As you can imagine, the synopsis of what’s happening in the world these days was rather ominous.

In terms of workplace trends, I reviewed recent survey findings published by some of the most respected think tanks and pollsters. Surprisingly, ...

Click to read more ...

What’s Your Gift that Keeps on Growing?

By Deb Boelkes

We all have our own unique gifts. In fact, my latest book, Strong Suit: Leadership Success Secrets from Women on Top is all about helping you identify and leverage those special gifts, talents and personal traits that not only come naturally to you, but you enjoy doing, you excel at, and—when put into action—make you the very special person you authentically are.

Perhaps you have certain gifts that you love to share with others, simply to bless and enrich their lives.  How would you define those special gifts?

In my case, outside the business world, I lead and/or participate in several civic and social organizations. One of them is the Philanthropic Educational Organization (commonly referred to as P.E.O.).  This “sisterhood of women” was originally organized in 1869 by seven freshmen women at Iowa Wesleyan University in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. It eventually expanded to include women off campus, and now—150+ years later—this sisterhood...

Click to read more ...

How Do You Deal with a Narcissist?

By Deb Boelkes

I’m often asked by mentees (of all ranks), “How do you deal with an especially annoying, self-centered, toxic individual who comes across to others as though they rule the world?”

Some define such adversaries as toxic. Some call them bullies. Some label them as self-important or self-aggrandizing. Some describe them as narcissistic. I’ll just bet you know someone who personifies such depictions.

So, how do you handle such people? When required to interact with such folks, are you able to do it in a professional and courteous manner? Are you apt to deal with them differently one-on-one?      

My beloved partner here at Heartfelt Leadership—the renowned psychiatrist and best-selling author Mark Goulston, M.D.—wrote a chapter titled Steer Clear of Toxic People in his book, Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.  Long before I met him, my own personal experiences led me to believe that dealing with narcissists can be one of the most difficult interpersonal challenges we face at work and within our communities.  It was reading this chapter (over and over) that prompted me to finally go out of my way to get to know Dr. Mark.

In Steer Clear of Toxic People, Dr. Mark recounts the time he had life-saving surgery. That was the impetus that caused him to think about the stressors that kept him from living his life to the fullest:  

Click to read more ...

Forget the Coming Year. What are You Doing TODAY?

At the beginning of each new year, it's customary to make resolutions or set goals for the coming year.

From a business perspective, goal setting for the year is important to inspire, engage and align the efforts of everyone on the team. Without goals, the organization would be like a ship without a rudder, wandering aimlessly.

On a personal level, I strongly believe in making resolutions to course correct and improve outcomes going forward. Yet many of us fail to achieve our resolutions because we treat them like a “someday” kind of thing, to be done whenever we get around to it. Of course, we then get busy with other priorities, like sailing a rudderless dingy.

I’ve come to living more in the moment, in terms of New Years resolutions. My life is more about being the kind of person I want to be while doing the kinds of things that allow me to fully enjoy life and experience the satisfaction of being the way I want to show up for the people in my world. My everyday resolution is to live a more joyous, loving, and Godly life—moment by moment.

Click to read more ...

What did you do to change the world this year?

By Deb Boelkes

As we grow up and begin to think about what we want to do with our lives as adults, some of us have big ambitions to change the world.  Some of us know precisely what we want to do for a career, while some of us simply hope to make an impact somehow, someday.

How about you? Did you have early ambitions to change the world? If so, what did you intend to accomplish? Have you achieved your dream or are you still pursuing your ambition? Do you believe you’ve made a difference so far?

Each December I mail out Christmas cards and letters to numerous friends and loved ones—some I see regularly; some I rarely, if ever, see anymore. I cherish the opportunity to keep in touch and let these dear ones know they hold a special place in my heart. I find it cathartic to take stock of my year’s journey and I always look forward to hearing the recount of my loved one’s personal sagas.

I especially enjoy accounting for the myriad of little things that were hopefully meaningful to others. What did I do to bring someone joy? In what small way did I help someone through a difficult time? How did I help ease someone’s sorrow and assure them they’re appreciated and loved? How did I help others find their way through the dizzying maze of choices life presented them? Such reflection...

Click to read more ...

What Was Your Most Humbling Experience?

By Deb Boelkes

Every now and then, when you least expect it, someone will say something especially kind about you or do something on your behalf that touches your heart and leaves you feeling undeserving, yet awe inspired. Such gestures can sometimes leave us forever changed for the better. Has this ever happened to you?

When one of my sons was in military flight school—learning to fly F/A-18 fighter jets—he’d occasionally come home on leave and head down to one of the local pubs at the beach to catch up with his buddies. More than once, he came home from the pub with a look on his face that I would label as stunned and undeserving disbelief.

Click to read more ...