Only the Present Matters

By Deb Boelkes

We’ve all heard the idiom, “There is no time like the present,” which essentially means that if something is worth doing, then do it now. Get on with it!

There is another quote I especially like by the famous cartoonist, Bil Keane, creator of the newspaper comic series The Family Circus: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift—that’s why it’s called The Present.” 

When you think about it, all we really have is the here and now—this moment in time. While you may have tremendous wealth, countless valued possessions, and hundreds of friends and loved ones, people and things are not yours to keep. They could all be gone in a heartbeat. With the blink of an eye, some freak act of nature—like a tornado, or a flood, or a sinkhole, or a reckless driver—could instantly destroy life as you know it. So, cherish this moment and deliberately give it your best intention because only the present matters.  It’s all there is.   

How are your spending this day, anyway? Are you appreciating this moment as the precious gift it is, or are you just trying to wade through yet another uninspiring hour, crawling and scratching your way to the end of the day, without realizing any pride of accomplishment—the kind that makes you feel happy and fulfilled with each tick of the clock?

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Time to Reset Your Compass to Paradise

By Deb Boelkes

If you’ve read any of my books or spent even just a little time reading my blog posts, you know I am a big believer in the philosophy that life is too short not to love what you do every day. But how many people do you know who feel stuck in a dead-end job, or in a toxic situation, claiming they have no way out?

Well, in my humble opinion, that’s no way to live. There is always a better way to spend your days if you set your mind to it. If you find yourself in a no-win situation, perhaps it’s time to reset your compass to paradise.

It's amazing how many people I meet who, when asked what they do for a living or how they feel about where they work, tell me it’s just ho-hum.  They are hoping something better will come along. But biding one’s time, waiting and hoping, can be a drudgingly slow, less-than-fulfilling process.

If you want something better, then seek it out. While you may not find paradise right away, you stand a much better chance of getting there if you at least set your compass in that direction and stay open to outcomes while searching for that paradise.     

I wrote my first book, The WOW Factor Workplace: How to Create  Best Place to Work Culture, all because of people who told me they had never experienced a great place to work.

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What Are Your Priorities, Really?

By Deb Boelkes

Anyone leading an organization knows that prioritizing the achievement of corporate and departmental objectives is usually an important factor in one’s performance rating as a manager. Likewise, no matter what kind of work you do, your quarterly or annual performance rating can be a big factor in determining your merit pay.

Workers tend to prioritize those activities that generate the greatest return on their efforts. That’s why organizations have incentive plans and performance reviews. It’s the age-old carrot and stick technique.  People’s priorities and work results typically reflect how much they value the incentives dangled in front of them.

In my book, The WOW Factor Workplace: How to Create a Best Place to Work Culture, Todd Wilcox, founder and Chairman of Patriot Defense Group, who formerly served in the CIA, had this to say about performance appraisals:

“In the CIA...

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Is Everything You are Seeing for Real?

By Deb Boelkes

In my first book, The WOW Factor Workplace: How to Create a Best Place to Work Culture, I told the story of how my co-collaborator Mark Goulston, M.D. and I met—all due to my reading his best-selling book, Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone. 

In Just Listen, Dr. Mark defined “The Persuasion Cycle”—the process by which a successful communicator can get someone’s buy-in to do something they wouldn’t otherwise likely do and make them glad they did it. Heartfelt Leaders are typically quite adept at leveraging the Persuasion Cycle—in a good way—to build empathy and trust and enable team members to achieve their dreams.

That said, I’ve learned first-hand that sociopaths can also be quite adept at using The Persuasion Cycle in not-such-good ways. As Dr. Mark explains, sociopaths “only care about you doing what they want.”

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Do You Always Let Your Conscience be Your Guide?

By Deb Boelkes

It’s amazing what kind of silly little things can bring long unthought-of memories to the forefront of your mind.

Just this week, as I was changing the sheets on our guestroom bed, I happened to notice the little stack of books that I leave on the nightstand—to keep our guests amused—was a little off kilter.

As I straightened up the stack, something caused me to flip through the pages of the smallest book, George Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation, which the father of our country wrote at the tender age of 14. Young George’s rules “were intended to polish manners, keep alive the best affections of the heart, impress the obligation of moral virtues, teach how to treat others in social relations, and above all, inculcate the practice of a perfect self-control.”

Can you imagine a 14-year-old today writing a list of Civility Rules? Perhaps if we taught our children to appreciate the virtues of civility these days, the world might be a better place.

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New Lease on Life: The Blessing of Inspiring our Veteran Leaders

By Deb Boelkes

If you’re like me, perhaps you have a friend or two who occasionally sends you a meme or video that they have found especially funny, sentimental, provocative, or mind blowing. Depending on how busy I am, I may choose to give the missive a quick look, or I may set it aside until I have more time to indulge in such musings.

Recently I received a link to a 5-minute video originally published about five years ago. Due to the age of the post, I was about to set it aside until I noticed the title Reunited – A Short Film about Music and the Human Spirit and the description which began, “In this uplifting short film….” Since even I can use an uplifting message now and then, I decided to watch it right then and there

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All Employees are Essential. How are You Showing Your Appreciation?

By Deb Boelkes

With so many organizations scrambling just to stay alive during these challenging times, it’s understandable that some managers might forget to thank their team members for their contributions, especially as we enter the busy holiday season.  But it’s hard to fathom that any senior executive would think they can mandate injections for employees without serious repercussions.  What kind of appreciation does that convey?

Issuing mandates of any kind is not the way a heartfelt leader builds an enduring WOW factor workplace. Quite the contrary. Beloved and successful leaders—the kind team members would do anything for—are not dictators. Rather, they are the ones who lead through inspiration, encouragement, and appreciation.

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How Do You Overcome Underminers?

By Deb Boelkes

In the divisive, cancel culture world we live in nowadays, it’s sad but true that blame, belittling cutthroat politics, and undermining character assassinations have almost become de rigueur. Shocking examples are constantly in the headlines. Unfortunately, such abusive behavior has insidiously entered the workplace, as well.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a colleague’s inadvertent or deliberate attempts to undermine your efforts? Whenever you have found yourself to be the target of an underminer’s wrath, did you reluctantly accept the role of underdog, or did you instinctively respond in kind and fight back in defense?

Over the years, I’ve seen some who simply pick up their toys and go play quietly in the corner in attempts to mitigate what might otherwise become a no-win skirmish. I’ve observed others who eagerly throw incendiary insults right back at ‘em—deliberately upping the insult-to-injury ratio—only to enflame an all-out nuclear war.

But those aren’t the only options you have when dealing with an underminer.

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